8.12.19





Yoga



I love taking yoga classes. I'm not trying to brag, but I’m in the advanced class. Yep. But I’ve always been good at Simon Says so I’m a natural. Usually I’ll hold the first pose for half of the class and when the teacher asks why I haven’t released the first pose I say, “You never said ‘Yogi says.’” (more below)





Drunk Yoga

Yoga is certainly not uncommon these days. It's a healthy habit and can be a great workout. It's also tricky to mix it with an unhealthy lifestyle. Have you ever tried it when you’re drunk or nursing a killer hangover? There’s few things more challenging than trying to balance on one leg upside down when you’re suffering from a bad case of the spins. I had a social event after work and had a few too many beers and a few too many greasy appetizers. Then I decided to do an difficult yoga class that night. My body didn’t appreciate the intense shifting of gears in a compressed timespan. Halfway through the class I was doing a reverse sit-up and accidentally ripped a huge fart. Trainwreck from there on out. I couldn’t stop giggling, so on every pose I cracked off a little more.

"Camel pose"

(Riiip Hehehe)

"Crow pose"

(Rrrrrip, Ha!)

"Bridge pose"

(Briiiiiip...oh boy)

"Peaceful warrior"

There was nothing peaceful going on down there, I can tell you that much.

"Corpse pose"

"Eww, somebody in here sure smells like a corpse."

Yes, I’m the worst person to yoga next to.